On your marks, get set
THOSE zany chaps from the The Reduced Shakespeare Company have inevitably turned their attention towards sports in this Olympic summer (sic), and will perform the European premiere of their The Complete World Of Sport (abridged) at Poole's Lighthouse theatre next week from Tuesday 26th to Thursday 28th June.
What's on offer is every sport ever played on every continent in the entire history of the world, and all in less than two hours.
After a successful New York season and US tour, the RedSC will be taking its entire history of athletic competition in a marathon of madness and mayhem just in time for Wimbledon, Euro 2012 and the Olympics on a UK tour.
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Find out whether darts is really a sport? What NASCAR stands for? Why Americans insist on calling a contest in which only they compete the "World Series"? Which is more boring – baseball or cricket?
Who invented cheese-rolling, wife-carrying, and bog-snorkelling and why they aren't in the Olympics?
POOLE'S Lighthouse begins its Glyndebourne Festival transmissions tonight, Friday, with a screening of the Peter Hall production of Rossini's La Cenerentola, the operatic version of Cinderella, recorded in 2005.
The season continues with a recording of Purcell's The Fairy Queen on 22nd July and "live by satellite" screenings of Le Nozze di Figaro on 17th August and a Ravel double bill on 19th August.